Caffeine

Caffeine: The Elixir of Life, Celestial Nectar, Mankind's Gift.

Did you know that 10 grams of caffeine could kill you? This amount is found in about 100 cups of coffee. So the moral here is: Never drink more than 100 cups of coffee at a go!

But that brings us to: How do we consume coffee?

In our endless experiments, we have had certain revelations. In particular are two forms of this Celestial Elixir that can keep almost anyone awake for a day or two. It is rumored (read "we like to believe") that the prince who kissed Sleeping Beauty had consumed one of our special brews before kissing her, and the vapours she inhaled while osculating woke her up. The rest, as they say, is history.

Here, we share the secret to our greatness, omniscience and glory. Bow down, mere mortals as we reveal to you, the recipes for Supercharged Coffee and Turbocharged Coffee.

• Supercharged Coffee
  1. Take Coffee.
      1a. If coffee is not available, make some coffee by adding instant coffee and sugar to milk.
  2. Add some more sugar to it.
  3. Add a little more sugar to it.
  4. Just a little more.
  5. Yeah, just a bit more...
  6. Almost there... a teeny-weeny bit of sugar more.
  7. NO, DO NOT ADD MORE MILK OR WATER.
  8. Final Touch: Add a bit more sugar.
  
  A Perfect Brew of Supercharged coffee is ready! Sip, and enjoy the extreme sweetness. Feel that perfect bit of sugar rushing through your veins, dilating the blood vessels inside your brain, delivering that much needed extra bit of oxygen to grey cells, enchanting the world around you in a psychedelic frenzy. A rather nice 'trip' one might say...



• Turbocharged Coffee
  Take coffee, add coffee, add sugar, ad infinitum.
  When infinity is all done with and gone by, drink.
  
  Feel Bliss.
  With a capital B.